Music Decisions

Making Your Wedding Music Decisions

By Barbara Rothstein and Gloria Sklerov

You've been busy. From the minute you set the date it's been about your gown, the
wedding location, flowers, bridesmaids, ushers, honeymoon, registering,
shopping and on and on.

But thank goodness…you've hired a great band or a fabulous DJ. At least your
music is taken care of.

Or is it?

Don't count on it. Sadly, hundreds of thousands of couples do their entire wedding
planning so carefully, only to let the ball drop where the most emotional and
critical part of their wedding is concerned…the music.

Until now, not enough information and guidance has been available to brides &
grooms hiring bands and DJs, or for the final meeting with them just before the
wedding. (That's when you actually plan and 'choreograph' your wedding
program). Because you'll be asked so many questions and have to make so many
on-the-spot decisions, you'll want to have enough time beforehand to think and
imagine how these choices will affect your wedding. When you don't have a good
idea of what you want, the band or DJ's choices rule. That's not to say that they
won't have good ideas, but remember…it's not their wedding. It's yours. The ideal
situation is when you come to the planning sessions with an open mind and a
clear vision.

If you're wondering how to avoid last minute problems, and if you'd like to make
your wedding a fabulous success…and we measure success by how good a time
you and your guests have…we're here to help with some suggestions for what to
do first.

Step One

First you dream. Believe it or not, visualizing your dream is one of the most
important parts of planning, for behind every successful creation is an idea…a
heart's desire. Everything starts with an idea…a dream, whether it's a home you're
building, a honeymoon you're planning, or your wedding.

The clearer your vision, the easier you'll find the process of making it a reality.

At the beginning, it's important to allow yourself the time to explore your own
personal preferences and consider many different options. Remember--this is a
creative process. Let your ideas flow and your natural creativity take flight.

Think of your wedding as a film. Like any successful film, a great wedding has an
interesting and meaningful opening with dramatic moments that build in intensity
up to an exciting climax and satisfying ending. But a great film, though beautifully
directed and produced, only comes alive when the composer adds the musical
score. The soundtrack is the greatest single influence on the feeling and pacing of
a film.

Pretend that you are the composer and the music you choose is the soundtrack of
your wedding. Take an imaginary journey through your wedding, scene by scene.
Imagine how beautiful you'll feel at the moment. Now imagine music that
expresses all these feelings. Play your favorite music and songs, trying different
selections and styles as you imagine the 'scenes' of your wedding. Picture
yourself and others in each scene as you play the different selections.

Successful wedding planners, consultants and musicians instinctively
conceptualize different parts of the wedding as 'scenes' and they use certain
definitions that you may not be familiar with yet. These definitions will be very
helpful to you at the beginning when you are gathering information and
interviewing caterers, catering halls or hotels, etc., and dealing with musicians or
DJs.

Step Two

Keep a small notebook just for planning your wedding music. Start a list of music
ideas. Using the definitions we just gave you, keep a separate page for each one
and write down several songs you would consider using for the 'scenes' of your
wedding. Jot down titles of songs you particularly like as they occur to you and
when you hear them in films, on radio and TV, and at other weddings and affairs.

Just as you would want to highlight the emotions of the ceremony, the same is
true of the reception, whether it's a small intimate dinner, or a full-blown party.
Recognizing and honoring your family and friends and other important people in
your lives through special pieces of music during the reception, adds warmth and
closeness and can make all the difference in the world to the success of the
wedding. As you're visualizing the scenes of your wedding, keep these special
people in mind. A great way to do that is to find out the special song some of your
friends and family members played at their weddings. They will love hearing 'their'
song at your wedding.

Now that you know how important it is to visualize your dream wedding, give
yourself permission to spend time doing just that and to luxuriate in your
daydreaming. The ideas and pictures forming in your mind will be the foundation
of your wedding program. There's much to do, but it's a time to enjoy and
remember for the rest of your life. We encourage you to take the time and to give
all your dreams the attention they deserve.

We wish you a beautiful wedding, and may music and love fill your lives forever.

With love from,

Barbara & Gloria